TESTIMONIALS

WELCOME TO IT'S ALL VERY FUNNY UNTIL.....

“None of us are going to deny what other people are doing. If saying bullshit is somebody's thing, then he says bullshit. If somebody is an ass-kicker, then that's what he's going to do on this trip, kick asses. He's going to do it right out front and nobody is going to have anything to get pissed off about. He can just say, 'I'm sorry I kicked you in the ass, but I'm not sorry I'm an ass-kicker. That's what I do, I kick people in the ass.' Everybody is going to be what they are, and whatever they are, there's not going to be anything to apologize about. What we are, we're going to wail with on this whole trip.” 
― Tom Wolfe, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

Are you on the bus, or off the bus? It doesn't matter-- it's fine to hop on and hop off at will.  But come along for a ride!  Heck, it's virtual! You have NOTHING to lose.  My commitment to you is that I will try to be witty and maintain some edginess.  I will not write weepy blogs about how blessed I am.  We are all blessed in some capacity – if we need to constantly state it then we are unsure about it, or we want to rub it in other people’s faces, or it's phony humility -- and also, the word is overused and a truly annoying trend.  I will not be treacly or sweet or falsely cheery about my life as a burnt out, middle-aged professional mom who is embracing change and internal contradictions, and trying to be unashamed about her shortcomings.  (Apparently, I have many shortcomings, as my two young adult children remind me.  Daily.)  No! Scratch that tripe about embracing change!  I am punching change in the face and complaining about it, but I am doing it anyway.  Who am I, and who cares? I don't know who cares, and I’m not actually interested in the answer to that question at all, but I am a chick who is attracted to glittery, girly things and shiny objects.   That alone should be enough, but I suppose more importantly, I am someone who cares and thinks deeply about social issues, ideas and the world around me-- and who finds the human condition (by that I mean MY condition) tragic and hilarious.   Being a mom is central to me, but my kids do not define me.  I am proud of having had a steady career, but I am ready for something new and experimental that doesn't require a tie or beige slacks. Or anything beige. Or pants.  Since we are being brutally honest, I am just looking for something I can do in my underwear.  What else do you need to know about me? Well, I no longer give a damn about having a clean and tidy house.  I am very extremely done with striving to be a self-sacrificing paragon of womanly virtue and female perfection at work and at home. That experiment was an epic fail.  As I (and many other wiser women) have long said: it's a myth that women can have it all, all at once.   But, whatever "It" is, we can have some of It, some of the time-- and that should be enough.  If we even want It.  Maybe we want Something Else.  Well then,  we should be free to go ahead and grab that Something Else by the…feline!  So, what other fascinatingly mundane details about me should I share? I am experiencing a lot of transitions.  I feel liberated from the bonds of past expectations, yet fairly terrified about the future.  And it’s all good-- except for the huge parts of it that truly suck.  Accepting change….pushing through change…. punching change in its smarmy face….. is messy, painful and confusing for the most part. Jury’s still out, but I think it's probably worth the hassle.  So, now that I have completed the introductory spiel, I invite you to please hop on up and take a seat -- there is plenty of room, and no commitment is needed.   It will sometimes feel like I am driving blindfolded, but that is only because I actually have awful vision and lack any innate radar! However, I promise to stop short of the cliff (most of the time.... because like I said, the vision situation is not optimal).  And, if occasionally-- or every day-- I do drive over the edge.... well who cares? This is just a damned humor blog. It’s not surgery.  No one is gonna lose an actual eye. We will just Wile E. Coyote ourselves back together, reclaim our TNT, and keep chasing that smug Roadrunner without real consequences and without actually needing to catch him.  So, again, I ask you: are you on the bus or off the bus?  You know you want to.